November 1

"Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,
Thanks for what Thou dost deny!
Thanks for storms that I have weathered,
Thanks for all Thou dost supply!
Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure,
Thanks for comfort in despair!
Thanks for grace that none can measure,
Thanks for love beyond compare!"

"Thanks to God" st. 2, by August Ludwig Storm for the Swedish Salvation Army, 1891

Thank God for another birthday that passed, for it marks full 19 years of grace, love and mercy God has blessed me with. It is indeed wonderful that I have learnt to thank God for all things sweet and bitter -it's not been an easy 19 years for me and my family- just like how the hymn says we should thank God for pain and pleasure. In light of this I was reading Psalm 139, the psalm from which another of my favourite hymns was inspired.

God is our Father, and I don't think how much more literal can it be than in Psalm 139. Isn't it amazing to know that even before birth, God has been taking care of us? He made sure that every in every nucleus of our cells, we had 23 pairs of chromosomes, and that in every growth of the embryo, we were safe and were developing as normal, able-bodied babies. David says "you knit me in my mother's womb" (v13) and His "eyes saw my unformed body" (v16) He preserved our lives in healthy wombs so that we could last three trimesters before seeing the world. If you think about it, how many babies actually get to come to the world?

Our heavenly Father has watched us grow from young and He is "familiar with all" our ways (v3). He understands our joy, pain and struggles deep down in the smallest crevice in our hearts. Even when when we contemplate to defy Him by sinning, He knows it too. "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?" (v7) Reflecting on the rebellion when I was 15, God knew I was going against Him. I was apathetic and even got defensive against His Word at one point. I skipped church, retaliated verbally against my parents, scolded the F word and partook in dirty jokes and fervent gossiping and maligning, and I even went into a traumatic, much regretted puppy-love relationship with a muslim. God is omnipresent, He was there and witnessed every one of my contemplation about sinning and the actual sins I committed. He could have punished me then and taught me a really painful lesson, like how He punished the 42 kids in Bethel. Yet, His love and respect for my freedom wanted me to return to Him, convinced and un-reluctantly. I sure did, after the constant probing and calling of the Holy Spirit- thank God. Like the injured lamb who depends on his shepherd after it was found, God brought me back, close to Him and forgave my sins. He loves me so much, how can I ever go astray again?

Every birthday is a delightful moment to accord especial glory to God. My 19th birthday has seen God's fulfilling of His never-failing Promise: "The Lord bless you and keep you." (Num 6:24), and going many more epochs back, the fulfilling of His promise to old, faithful Abraham.

19 years of preservation.
19 years of nourishment.
19 years of disciplining.
19 years of mercy.
19 years of grace.
19 years of tears.
19 years of smiles.

19 years of love...

and many more years of God's blessings! O Lord, surely "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Ps 139: 14) Amen!