As The Eldest Child

As the eldest child, I often lamented being the experiment of my parents' virgin parenthood. My parents raised me up in a very laissez-faire manner, giving me all the freedom I had. However, there were times or even periods of behaviour inconsistent with this trust they had in me. Especially during my rebellion phase, my mum always clamped down on my life. No doubt she knew commands were the most direct and efficient way to steer her beloved daughter away from danger. I couldn't truly understand why she imposed many restrictions however. I was taught never to ask why. When I did ask, my mum only reasserted her authority by warning me against making her angry and flare up. So I spent many a time in my room from young struggling with tears and self-censorship.

Thank God for the Holy Spirit, who intercedes for us when we are in weakness (Rom 8:26), when we are unable to express the pain through language. It was the many prayers and pleas I made in this same room that God drew me closer to Him. Now that I have a much younger sister (11 years younger), I thank God that I can be a comforter to her. She needn't wrestle with things she didn't understand but had to accept. Over some small dispute involving some ice cubes and water, she felt overwhelmingly that she was being treated unfairly. So she went to her room and cried. Initially I rolled my eyes, irking at the touchy feely things I had to say to calm her down. But the more I explained and reconciled the upset in her, the more I was reminded of II Cor 1:3-4.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

After the showering of sisterly love and an afterward-complained painfully choking prayer (because I made my sis repeat it after me), she was noticeably much calmer. How amazing it is, that talking to our Father in Heaven gives us immediate peace and solace. Some atheists like to think of it as a self-fulfilling prophecy - prayer as just a euphemism for psychological self-talk. I beg to differ. In fact, all Christians beg to differ. We've all felt the work of the Holy Spirit and the love of God but that's not the issue here heh. I am grateful that as an eldest sister, I can help mould my sis to learn and love Christ and she doesn't have to bear her own tears alone - because she has a jiejie who can stand by her in Christ.

In this way, I don't think God is being unfair to me, that being the eldest child in my family meant I had to learn many things in a tougher way. There are still challenges for me as the eldest, such as carrying my parents' baton to bring home the bacon and being exemplary as a Christian daughter and sister. I know that there are many benefits to be gained. What I have overcome with the Lord's help equips me with the ability to comfort others. Praise God!