Tuesday, December 31, 2013

let's get the uniting going

Let me state the obvious and awful truth: the church of Jesus Christ has been split into many different factions who refuse to have fellowship with one another. For a people who claim one Lord, one faith and one baptism, we are not one church but exist in isolation, judgment, suspicion and condemnation. This is a sad and terrible situation that undoubtedly grieves the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Race, class, denomination and doctrine separate the people of God. Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week. There are over thirty thousand recognized Protestant denominations, and many of them reject every other denomination but their own.

Why? Because we have adopted a false narrative that gives us permission to separate from those who are different from us in appearance or status or belief. It goes something like this: "If you do not look like us, act like us, worship like us or think like us, we are not obligated to have fellowship with you."


Anglos worship with Anglos; Hispanics worship with Hispanics. Wealthy people attend church with wealthy people; poor people attend church with poor people. People who believe the Bible is inerrant fellowship only with those believe the same; people who believe homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle fellowship only with those who affirm same-sex relationships...


Do you speak in tongues? Do you sing hymns or praise music? Do you believe women can be pastors? Do you allow instruments in your sanctuary? These are questions we use to find out what people believe and practice, and the answers determine whether we can worship together. Some even question the salvation of those who answer differently. The sad fact is this: our divisions simply cannot be the way Jesus intended it to be. The false narrative... - if we disagree, then we must divide - allows this to happen and keeps it happening...





---

"And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? For when one says, “I am of Paul,” and another, “I am of Apollos,” are you not carnal?"

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility."

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

agitative music and workouts

I never minded the coarse language in some of the workout music played at gyms or when my friends work out. I didn't mind working out to them too.

But just a few minutes ago, the coarse language in music that came with my workout video got me  angry at people - my mom and friends who talk to me past 1am, so angry I started judging them and harping on their faults. I couldn't fire up much power for my high-intensity exercise and I blamed them for my poor performance today. I got really agitated.

So agitated I couldn't continue the workout.

And I went to pray.

It's not the music's fault because I entertained those angry thoughts and let them start taking root in me. At the same time, the mental image of a shouty strong (wo)man isn't something that I want to emulate in my mind when I lift those weights or do those high knees. At the most superficial level, it's unattractive. At a less superficial level, I'm just deepening those associations my mind already has between muscle and violence - as if we haven't had enough of that! 

And in my surprising case of getting angry at specific people, it's also going to take quite some time to rectify these spur-of-the-moment accusations I conjured with my imaginative mind. Sure, they may just be thoughts, but these terrible thoughts can show up later in the way I interpret the attitude and behavior of my mom and friends whom I text with very late at night. And all that judging? Oh yes, it'll show up in the way I talk to them and think about them for sure.

So now I just wonder, why is agitative music such a popular method for people in the gym to generate physical strength? Are there other ways? 

One good thing though...my poor performance today is making a chronic under-sleeper like me hate late nights, so yay!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

soldier of fortune

Tonight, a busker decided to perform something not in his setlist. He looked straight at me and said he wanted to sing a song for "someone sitting over there".

And the song went -

"Now I feel I'm growing older
And the songs that I've sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill going round
Guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune"

How did he know, that I am a wanderer longing for rest? Maybe the dust in my eyes gave it away.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

clarity

Be stable. Find out. Be clear. Leave it if it's not to be.

It's not the end of the world. Far from it - "I have overcome it."

"I have done for you everything, my love!"

"The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still."

Friday, September 13, 2013

To love at all is to be vulnerable

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

This might just be the biggest challenge yet. 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Some things in life

are like refined sugar. They are easy to find, not hard to get, take you on a high and leave you crashing soon after. 

They bring great flavor to your life, but adds nothing to it. It's an empty, predictably monolithic sort of flavor, like the taste of soy ice cream with a foreign layer of sweetness tangentially floating above it. There is no link, no connection. And you end up making do with this unwelcome stranger since you literally asked to have it. 


:::

Some things in life are like honey. They are so wonderfully dainty or quirky that the only thing plain about them is they are different - from the delicate white sage with an elegant floral aftertaste to the strong zest in basswood that turns minty when mixed with mild honey. 

Easy to find and not hard to get, but only if the eye is trained to not be distracted by pomp vacant within. Takes you on an unfamiliar kind of high that doesn't really end. Instead, you sit on a new baseline of delight, a new level of norm for your life.

And the best part is, sometimes they can be found in some people and certain friendships.

The fact that there are so many counterfeits and substandard versions of these things only affirms the overwhelming delight of the latter. 

So the wonder at its daintiness and quirkiness remains, and the best part remains best, that sometimes they can be found in some people and certain friendships.

Friday, July 19, 2013

and wept

"I think you will agree, once in a while God tries to break into our normal lives and tell us something important. He brings a matter to our attention that tears at our hearts, maybe even brings us to our knees. But then, sadly, so often that is all that happens. Although it consumes us for a little while and we can't stop thinking about it, eventually we start to explore something else and forget.

Because we see and hear so much nowadays, soon our hearts stop hurting. We get used to things as they are.

But that is not the way of Jesus.

Christ was the One who saw the multitudes and wept."


K.P. Yohannan


Friday, July 12, 2013

Every cry for help

is a leap into darkness, in hope that there would be safe landing because maybe, just maybe, rescue would be here.

Every cry for help is a belief in hope, even if it was out of utter desperation that this courage was borne - courage to make frailty and neediness so publicly and chillingly known.

Every cry for help is a belief in hope.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

not always

God is not always silent, and man is not always blind. In every man's life there are moments when there is a lifting of the veil at the horizon of the known, opening a sight of the eternal. Each of us has at least once in his life experienced the momentous reality of God. Each of us has once caught a glimpse of the beauty, peace and power that flow through the souls of those who are devoted to Him. But such experiences are rare events. To some people they are like shooting stars, passing and unremembered. In others they kindle a light that is never quenched. The remembrance of that experience and the loyalty to the response of that moment are the forces that sustain our faith. In this sense, faith is faithfulness, loyalty to an event, loyalty to our response.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

all cry out

I don't like it when they saw down trees. The chainsaw cries in reluctance because it is forced to kill. And then, all is silent as life in and on the tree ends. The wind blows and fetches nothing but silt. It does not sing - there are no baby swallows that cry, nor sunbirds that flitter. Nor squirrels or macaques that play amongst the trees.

No leaves to even rustle. And I grieve with the chainsaw for all the younglings who fall with the tree. My heart beats in exasperation.


How long more till the end of this? Sometimes I really feel that my heart cannot take it. Yet somehow, I always manage to.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Dearest God

For 12 years I had learned to believe that you were always out to punish me for any wrong I did. Never would I have thought that I would be one of those people whom I thought were believing in such a scary and unbiblical God. 

It's become a habit for me to always try and find out what doesn't please you, because I'm afraid of more punishment. Do you know how hard I have been on myself all these years? Do you know how heavy and crushing this burden has been?


But now I know. Now I know that this is a lie. Renew my eyes...the way I see you. You have never-ending grace that you give to us freely. You have a much bigger heart than I have always believed you to be. Sorry for thinking that you were stingy, had a narrow heart and a bad temper. It sounds funny now! But it wasn't for the past 12 years -


:'( 


Prince of Peace, thank you for setting me free. I feel so much lighter now. Who would have thought that I could be set free from this prison? You are much more supportive of and in love with me than I have always believed.


:')



"Your precious words intoxicate 
A heart that aches; it's ok"

Friday, March 8, 2013

Hello students if you see this!

"Only chain a man can stand
Is that chain of hand in hand"

I'm relieved it's that way.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

5 Lessons to change the world


Huishan is an educator in practice and linguist at heart. She is passionate about environmental issues, and believes strongly that there is there is something intrinsically wrong with excess. Together with two friends, she founded Save That Pen, a socio-environmental initiative that aims to spread the message of sustainability in our everyday lives. She hopes to save enough pens one day to build a livable house of pens that will, obviously, last forever.

---

It started with a simple question three years ago in a small university room—why do people throw pens away without thinking, almost heartlessly? It was a discussion that got serious, passionate and eventually turned into action. Save That Pen was founded in the Fall of 2009 and the rest, they say, is timelined on a Facebook wall.

From a simple student-initiated project, we grew to fit a growing local environmentalist agenda. These days, we are working to bring the message of sustainability to schools in Singapore by saving pens.  Through the journey, the lessons I’ve learnt were countless; the last three years of operation have brought insight beyond pens and about life.

These are 5 lessons I think anyone who wants to change the world should know.

1.    Think big, work small

The ideas that change the world are ultimately big ideas. But operationalizing big ideas can eat.you.up. From the start, the project has never been about pens. We founded the organization because we wanted to make a statement about waste and consumption in this society. People don’t know (or care) enough about the subversive sentiments that drove the conceptualization of this project but it started simply—we didn’t like the society we lived in and we sought to change it. Three wide-eyed undergraduate girls thought we would start small and concentrate on the weapon of the educated. We founded Save That Pen with a focus on environmental education—if one can start by contemplating their stance towards a pen, perhaps they can start applying that to other things in their life—paper, water, power, branded bags, the big car.

2.    Expect criticism and welcome it

It’s always been easier to criticize than be encouraging, and you’ll have to understand that haters are going to hate. Forever. It was not easy starting a project such as this in an institution of higher education where criticism is central to its function. People were constantly questioning us “why pens?” and we even got an email once from a professor who noted that while he did not support a “Save That Pen” campaign, he would gladly support a “Save That Penis” campaign. He said, and I quote: “Anyone who persuades himself that saving a ball point pen is a meaningful contribution to preserving the world from global warming is deluding himself. Isn’t this mere posturing?”

Perhaps. But while this comment stems from a decontextualized understanding of the project, criticisms like these allow us chances to refine our rhetoric, reframe our arguments and reaffirm our belief. So welcome criticism, and see it as a chance to better the articulation of your aims.


3. Believe in the good of people

Cynical people exist in this world, and good people do too. Over the years, we’ve had overwhelming support from strangers and friends alike. The support came from unexpected places—the auntie from the heartland who came to deposit a bag of pens she saved from the spring cleaning of 2012, the directors of MNCs and environmental corporations who offered their valuable advice as well as little children who light up at the sight of an old purple pen. When the Straits Times ran a story about us in 2010, a stranger called us up and donated 1,500 brand new Pilot and Uniball pens to us. People can indeed be frustrating, but their goodness is the reason why we’re still here.

4.    Patience is golden

Development is important but the pace of progression matters too. At the core of Save That Pen are the four of us—all of whom have full-time jobs. Save That Pen continues to be our pet “CCA” even though we’ve entered the working-world. The call for development came in the last year as we’ve been working to introduce the project into MOE Schools. We’ve been doing things one step at a time ever since—first we had to get funding for the bins, then we had to dream up on an implementation plan for the schools, let the schools run in, gather feedback… you get the idea. Point is, up till today, we are not ready to take a large number of schools onboard for the project. We are working on that, but well, patience is golden, for now.

5.    Laugh, Love, Live

When Save That Pen first came into fruition, I was going through a rough patch in my life, and expanding extra energy (of which, on hindsight, I seemed to have a lot) to sort pens, or go around the campus to check out the state of our hand-made bins was a therapeutic experience. The two who founded the project with me were very patient. Long talks into the night, midnight escapades to steal sand from West Coast to build our very first pen-bin and the lost alcoholic nights of an undergraduate years coalescing with pen-sorting more than helped me live life in those years. Mostly, we could never stop giggling over the reason why we scraped the original name for the project because it sounded obscene (read: Pens for Pennies). Later, when I left the country for a year to further my studies, the girls helmed the project without me with no complaints.

Make sure that the people who change the world with you are more than working partners. Make sure they are friends.

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'5 Lessons to change the world' concludes "The Action Collective", which featured five guests involved in humanitarian and environmental work. To view the articles under The Action Collective, click here.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Black and White

Peace is a journalist and a ‘recent’ graduate from the National University of Singapore (or so she believes to convince herself she’s still young). But maybe she really is still young at heart, taking baby steps at learning about this world she’s living in. Peace grew up in a loving family and hadn’t had much to worry about for the most of her childhood. Easily affected and touched by what she encounters, Peace spent most of her younger days avoiding the not-so-rosy picture of our society. But she’s grown to understand that she can no longer hide from the imperfection and appreciate that the knowledge of it can help effect change in our society. 

Since young, I’ve always been fascinated by TV serials about law. My parents have always instilled a sense of right and wrong in me, which I thank them for, as it protected me from many dangerous aspects of our society. Things were always black and white. I’ve also conveniently (and mistakenly) equated legality to morality. In a sense, I had been very fortunate that I never had to encounter a situation where I had to deal with the ‘grey areas’. 

A few years back, I went with my university friends for a school field trip to Thailand. I admit that one of the main reasons I went for the trip was that I thought it was a fun way to clear modules. But I’ve gained a lot more from the trip. 


We went to many regions in Thailand, but it was the stay at Mae Sot that was particularly entrenched in my memory. It is a town in western Thailand that shares a border with Myanmar. I remember that we visited a school that had many students from Myanmar. We were also told that there were many of such schools and that these students were illegal migrants. Our instructors told us that Thai authorities there often close one eye to such cases and allow these students to stay in Thailand to seek better education and their families, better job opportunities. I must say that the idea of it being illegal did make me feel uncomfortable for a moment, but the compassion of the Thai authorities and schools as well as the enthusiasm of the Myanmar students for learning immediately eradicated all the rigid black-and-white thinking that I had all these years. 

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"The Action Collective" features six guests involved in humanitarian and environmental work. Our last guest will be Huishan Aprilene Goh, who helped founded Save That Pen, an organization that refills donated used pens and ships them to school children in Southeast Asia.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The realisation


Say Lin is an animal welfare and wildlife conservation advocate newly based in Vientiane Province, Laos. As a representative of a Singaporean NGO, ACRES, he is there to set up Laos’ first ever wildlife sanctuary for rescued, surrendered and confiscated animals. He hopes to learn the Lao language and visit as many places in the Indochina region as possible. Say Lin also enjoys cycling and one day hopes to tour Laos by bicycle.

            I haven’t always been passionate about protecting animals and the environment. In fact, even as recently as 2008, I was largely unaware of the many issues that animals and the environment face.

            This isn’t to say that I didn’t like animals. I did, only I wasn’t as informed as I am now. With hundreds of dogs in shelters, daily cases of dog abandonment and countless more being euthanized daily, I bought Buddy in 2008, a pure-bred Shetland Sheepdog, for SGD$1,500 from a local breeder. I love him dearly and do not regret my decision to buy him, but I probably wouldn’t have bought him if I knew of the aforementioned statistics, and the problem with puppy mills.

            2008 was the same year I witnessed an army platoon mate shoot at an innocent Javan Myna at the shooting range. I felt highly uncomfortable as I looked at the mangled mess amidst its feathers, but I did nothing.

            I was the usual child who loved watching Animal Planet and Discovery Channel, and enjoyed my visits to the zoo, circus or marine park. Despite being oblivious to the plight of wild animals in captivity back then, I had questions, many questions. I remember watching the Orcas at the San Diego Sea World and asking my father this: “Why are some of their dorsal fins upright, while others are bent or curled in an arc?”

My father didn’t know the answer, but his best guess was that this was genetically predetermined, just like how some of us have brown eyes while others have blue eyes. I learnt many years later that those bent dorsal fins were a phenomenon only seen in captive whales. Captive whales spend all their time swimming in circles, within tanks of still, sterile water, only a tiny fraction of space compared to their natural habitat. Their fins are bent due to muscle degeneration caused by the lack of use in a captive environment.

2008 was also the same year I joined the Singapore Night Safari as a Junior Trainer-Presenter at the Animal Shows Department. I believe this was when I begun a journey of realisation. Working with wild animals in cages on a weekly basis, beginning to know them as individuals and how their moods change, I gradually had more and more questions. The only difference this time was that I was old enough to seek answers for myself now, and I didn’t like the answers I found.

I began to understand that many of the human-animal relationships that exist in our world today are highly flawed. Factory farming, bear bile farming, puppy mills, poaching of wild animals for exotic dishes, pets or entertainment, these examples would arguably be okay if the following assumption held true: “Animals are inanimate objects devoid of any cognitive function.”

This isn’t the case at all. Animals, no matter what species or degree of cognitive function, may have feelings or at least an important role to play in this world. Over many years, with the ability of language and technology, humans have managed to engineer a world of our own. We think we have managed to isolate ourselves from the natural world, and we take everything from the environment for our self-benefit and call it our own. I think that it is pure arrogance as a human race, to think that we are different from other animals, and we can extract and exploit them as we wish. I find it ironic that the word “humane” is used to refer to a positive manner of treatment for an animal or person, when it was man that caused most of the negativity in the first place.

I have joined a small group of people who believe in a world that does not just include humans, but animals and the environment as well. I do not wish to impose my ideas on people, but I aim to raise awareness about this wider worldview so that they may make their own decisions.

Right now, my work focuses on giving animals a better life. I aim to contribute to a world where animals are not exploited, but treated with respect and hopefully one day, they will not be victims of our human arrogance.

We destroy what we do not understand, or simply what we do not appreciate. I urge everyone to at least start small. Try observing the next animal you meet a little longer than intended. Think about how or why animals behave the way they are in the wild, in a zoo, or on the screen. You may just be pleasantly surprised at what you might discover.
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"The Action Collective" features six guests involved in humanitarian and environmental work. Next Wednesday, we'll have Peace Chiu.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

enjoying God's presence


Letting go of the need to perform for God sets our hearts on things above and turns our backs on self-importance. Instead of trying to have an accomplishment-driven relationship with God, enjoying God's presence points us toward:

  • resting instead of productivity,
  • being silent instead of talking,
  • listening instead of giving advice,
  • empowering others instead of preaching to them,
  • asking questions instead of knowing answers,
  • giving instead of consuming,
  • striving for brokenness instead of upward mobility, and
  • gearing down to simplicity instead of gearing up to empire building.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

"a broken and contrite heart You do not despise"


STRENGTH FROM WEAKNESS

In these distressing moments, we lay our brokenness before God. This advances us toward the goal of knowing Him because a broken spirit dissolves the wall of self-sufficiency that separates us from God. If we're to develop a familiar friendship with God, we cannot separate ourselves from Him during pain and temptation. The lifetime process of transformation involves God purging us of our tendency to push Him away and His wooing us into union with Him and His loving will for the world.

In the New Testament, it was the broken who came to know Jesus. Think of the woman who had hemorrhaged for twelve years, desperate, having spent all her money but finding no cure. Coming up behind Jesus, she quietly felt the edge of His cloak (Mark 5:25-34). Like her, we can use our brokenness to finally accept that our bag of tricks for living life is not nifty enough. No amount of self-help books will rescue us. No more "looking good kid" facades - we freely admit our pain and temptation to God. Our failures strip us of self-protection, making us vulnerable to God, just as the cured woman fell at Jesus' feet, trembled with fear, and told Him the "whole truth" before the crowd of people (Mark 5:33).

Perhaps you can accept that we can find closeness with God in times of irritation and anguish, but you wonder what they hav to do with enjoying God's presence. Enjoyment comes from receiving pleasure, but it also comes from appreciating the benefits of deepening our intimacy. When we confess our shortcomings to God, we can enjoy His presence because we know that God's love envelops us in spite of our flaws. No one else so completely understands, loves, and challenges us. This familiar friendship doesn't take away the pain or temptation, but it gives us the strength to stand firm.