Friday, October 26, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
"my power is made perfect in weakness"
CARNAGE in 9 days: 63 comprehension passages, 28 essays, 4 examiner reports, and 2 red pens.
Apparently this is the busiest time of each year as teachers rush to finish grading the students' finals.
I'm so thankful that I was early in meeting all my deadlines, save the first. As a greenhorn, I asked Jesus many times to help me stand up under the pressure as well as grade fairly. Sometimes I had to review the papers I graded more than 5 times. This took up to 2 hours each time. Usually I hate revisiting work I've done more than twice because I find it so boring and pointless. But Jesus helped me see that it wasn't about me, but the students who warrant a fair assessment and whose grades are at stake. It's so good that even this drab, sedentary process of grading teaches me to be other-centered.
Though there are no demons harassing me, Jesus' revelation to Paul still applies.
I love that Jesus cherishes our receptivity to his help when we admit that human strength alone ultimately fails. Though the human spirit desires perfection and all that is good, in reality it is weak, limited in knowledge and experience, limited by time and physicality, and is way more prone to bitterness and selfishness than appreciation and love. We are torn between somewhat knowing all that is good and trying our best, yet still failing to get what we want and keep it. It is such a terribly heavy and fearful burden to carry - what if that is all to our lives? That is a cruel, cruel sentence to carry.
I am so thankful that Jesus stands in the gap, having undergone even greater pressures, so much so that apparently he sweated blood because he knew he was going to be caught, tried unjustly, and then executed -- with the method Romans thought was most torturous and thus most deserving for the worst criminals.
He has broken my chains and removed this heavy weight of only being able to rely on myself for goodness. Instead, he has fitted me with a yoke that is easy and light, a yoke of obedience that yields the peace and joy that the world thirsts for, cannot offer, yet rejects because it is apparently absurd, unscientific, or primitive.
So I will rejoice in the fact that Jesus vindicates - and he empowers me, even in grading finals. I can rest and play in full trust that he gives me a clear mind and discipline when I get back to creating more carnage.
Thanks to Cedele at Rail Mall for the awesome, healthy food and uncomfortable seats so I could spend 4 alert hours each time to meet my deadlines. It gets a little embarrassing when the same crew sees me thrice a week, but I don't care + they earn money = yay!
Apparently this is the busiest time of each year as teachers rush to finish grading the students' finals.
I'm so thankful that I was early in meeting all my deadlines, save the first. As a greenhorn, I asked Jesus many times to help me stand up under the pressure as well as grade fairly. Sometimes I had to review the papers I graded more than 5 times. This took up to 2 hours each time. Usually I hate revisiting work I've done more than twice because I find it so boring and pointless. But Jesus helped me see that it wasn't about me, but the students who warrant a fair assessment and whose grades are at stake. It's so good that even this drab, sedentary process of grading teaches me to be other-centered.
Though there are no demons harassing me, Jesus' revelation to Paul still applies.
But [Jesus] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses...in hardships...in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Paul's letter to the Corinth church (1st c. AD)
I love that Jesus cherishes our receptivity to his help when we admit that human strength alone ultimately fails. Though the human spirit desires perfection and all that is good, in reality it is weak, limited in knowledge and experience, limited by time and physicality, and is way more prone to bitterness and selfishness than appreciation and love. We are torn between somewhat knowing all that is good and trying our best, yet still failing to get what we want and keep it. It is such a terribly heavy and fearful burden to carry - what if that is all to our lives? That is a cruel, cruel sentence to carry.
I am so thankful that Jesus stands in the gap, having undergone even greater pressures, so much so that apparently he sweated blood because he knew he was going to be caught, tried unjustly, and then executed -- with the method Romans thought was most torturous and thus most deserving for the worst criminals.
He has broken my chains and removed this heavy weight of only being able to rely on myself for goodness. Instead, he has fitted me with a yoke that is easy and light, a yoke of obedience that yields the peace and joy that the world thirsts for, cannot offer, yet rejects because it is apparently absurd, unscientific, or primitive.
So I will rejoice in the fact that Jesus vindicates - and he empowers me, even in grading finals. I can rest and play in full trust that he gives me a clear mind and discipline when I get back to creating more carnage.
Thanks to Cedele at Rail Mall for the awesome, healthy food and uncomfortable seats so I could spend 4 alert hours each time to meet my deadlines. It gets a little embarrassing when the same crew sees me thrice a week, but I don't care + they earn money = yay!
“Are you tired? Worn out? ...Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
- JesusOnly 35 more essays to go, yay!
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