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Dear Me: A letter to my 13 year-old self.
Joyce Koor
Dear Joyce,
Dear Joyce,
I am writing this letter to you in year 2011. Depending on how you want to look at it, ten years is a long time. But somehow reminiscing the ‘good, old days’ always makes you think it’s has all gone by in a blink of an eye. Where is the pause button when you need one to catch your breath?
Looking very sweet and demure in a dress when you were 5 years-old. Playing on
my grandma’s staircase with your brother and cousins. 1993.
Ten years on, I want to tell you that life is still good, despite a roller-coaster of change you would have to go through.
But first, you must stop being so self-obsessed. With your weight and how you look. I am telling you, there is no use hating your thighs because you are made by our Creator to be beautiful. Your self-esteem (and your thighs) will thank you after you started swimming and running regularly. Throw in some Yoga classes for the mind-body balance. Only you can take care of your own health. The immense pain you will face while lying on a hospital bed 10 years on will let you know that without good health, you can just forget about doing other things you want to do in life.
Forget about counting the number of blemishes on your skin but learn to be disciplined with a skin-care regime. And always wear sunscreen. You might laugh and think that your 23 year-old self is sounding like a mother who nags incessantly because you and your peers used to spend hours lying under the scorching sun to get a tan. Just ‘coz a tan is cool. But you will learn to eventually think for yourself instead of following the herd.
There are some days when you’re 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 where you will try to figure out what growing up means. Perhaps hanging out with some pals during Mambo night for the first time at Zouk when you finally turn 18. Or sending out your résumé to companies in search of a summer internship over the three out of the four summers during university. Or living alone overseas and traveling around in USA during your exchange semester. Whatever it is, enjoy the moment. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
Sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon in USA, soaking in the beautiful surroundings. 2010.
Would you believe me if I told you that you lived and worked in Hyderabad, India for three months when you were 20? Incredible India indeed, where the experience there made you count your blessings back in Singapore. Things like not taking your electricity and water supply for granted, and the safety on the roads. On a macro-level, the education that you receive opens up a world of possibilities that many of the rural children are not privileged to enjoy, just because they were born where they were born.
Little girl carrying empty canisters where she will top them up at the village’s water station in Hyderabad. 2009.
That summer, you discovered what poverty meant when you visited 4 villages to work on your research project. You will learn the importance of giving back, in helping society in whatever capacity you have. Don’t stop being dedicated to others, give more than you plan to give, expand your horizons by reading wisely and traveling widely.
Please, try to also stop fretting about your grades during your O & A’levels and your university years. Just never stop giving your best. Expose yourself to new experiences and know that it’s your open mind and willingness to learn that builds a positive work ethic that will keep you moving forward to enjoy life to its fullest.
Please, try to also stop fretting about your grades during your O & A’levels and your university years. Just never stop giving your best. Expose yourself to new experiences and know that it’s your open mind and willingness to learn that builds a positive work ethic that will keep you moving forward to enjoy life to its fullest.
Graduation. 2011.
Slow down, Joyce, slow down. Life is not all touch and go. Take silence and respect it. Society is afraid of alonedom, but lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it. Because if you’re happy in your head then solitude is blessed and alone is okay.
You and your siblings, 10 years down the road. No more petty quarrels and arguments anymore!
With Daph, at ACJC’s 5-year reunion for the class of 2006. 2011.
You met Daph in ACJ in 2005. Here’s the both of you fooling around in 2006, after ACJC’s Fun-O-Rama Carnival.
Cherish your family, they are treasures and pillars of support when uncertainty clouds you. Value the people around you, respect them by listening (no interrupting, no daydreaming…), be generous with the gift of affection, laughter, a written note or compliment. Let small actions demonstrate the love for your family and friends. You are never alone.
More importantly, give your heart a chance to Love. There will be a time in the near future when you will wrap your heart up in a curtain of fear. It’s natural to want to close off when you’re hurt. It doesn’t matter what the hurt is or where it is from but just because you can’t see the horizon right now, it doesn’t mean there isn’t a magical moment that is there for you, beginning with right now.
Together again, after 5 years of waiting & pain. 2011.
Do not give up on Love, but give in to Love. Sometimes pain and Love come together. But remember that pain helps us grow and it teaches us to let go and to even see the present moment as perfect.
Life, Joyce, is for the living- you are placed on Earth to shine, to give your gifts and to be the presence of Love on this planet.
One last thing, don’t ever let your sense of humour and adventure slip. Do one thing everyday that scares you. Life’s too short to be so serious.
Yes, that’s you about to eat a fried scorpion and carrying a snake in Vietnam. 2011.
You’ve also tried one of the world’s most disgusting foods, the balut (a soft-boiled fetal duck) in the Philippines. 2011.
Love,
23 year-old Joyce
"life and society" will feature various people from different walks of life and various parts of the world. New posts are up every Monday and Thursday at 6pm (GMT +8 / Singapore time) through the first week of 2012. On Monday (Jan 5), I'll be featuring Meiyi Chan, who looks cute and small on the outside, but has a mind and listening ear far bigger than that. (Talk about surprises.) She is an intellectual who treats people graciously, respecting them for their academic and non-academic beliefs, while vigorously working out the truth.
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