In the minds of many Chinese parents, males are inherently better than females. Especially if the male is the oldest grandson of the oldest son in the family. He's the grandson of the family. Never mind how many older sisters this oldest grandson has, they are not as important as the oldest grandson.
Who gets the drumsticks, gets the most inheritance money, gets the most attention. Who also gets the most pressure to have a family and continue the family line.
We have moved away from that quite significantly, but its vestiges remain. It's about the only way of life the older generation knew growing up. It was normal to them, never mind its arbitrariness.
Tonight the feeling of rejection because I'm a female returns. It's not the drumsticks or money, but the subtle unsaid. The license to reject because they know I won't play punk and rebel against this family. Instead, they know I will continue to pour my heart out to help and encourage them, even if they often don't believe what I say until God vindicates months later.
Jesus, you have to help me out. I am angry and the only thing in my head now is "f- this".
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