"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion."
Psalm 84: 5-6
I never knew that 'Baca' is Hebrew for 'tears'. It's counter-intuitive to group images of fertility and abundance with sadness and suffering, and to use these images to describe the blessed people of God. It's very uplifting for me to know that even if this very beautiful and passionate psalm, it recognises the not-as-palatable parts of reality and renders it beautiful all the same, because the more we are changed by Him, the stronger we are. And through these experiences, we see God and 'faint' all the more for worship and His presence (v2).
My Refuge and My Fortress, Psalm 91
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.
Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge —
no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
I see reference to the ark ('cover you with pinions', 'under his wings'), bird imagery ('dwells in the shelter of the Most High', 'the snare of the fowler') and a supernatural, almost mythical sense of God's protection. While the protected one stands behind God in His shadow in war, God protects. He cannot see directly what God is doing, but he witnesses the consequences - he sees thousands of the wicked dead, not by God's direct killing (God holds a shield and buckler), but by the pestilence and destruction that He allows ('ten thousand at your right hand'). God is far bigger than a protector, He controls that which is humanly impossible.
I think our lives are like what the psalm says: only within the boundaries of God's shadow can we live, can we be protected from death. It's like M. Night Shyamalan's film, Lady in the Water, the monster that cannot touch Story as long as she's in water. We also play an active role - abiding within God's grace by loving Him passionately and calling Him in times of trouble. Then He graciously and gratuitously helps us, totally independent of what our acts are worth. And so I think if we take things into our own hands, it's like stepping out of God's grace deliberately into rotting sin.
Like the person in the psalm, I want God, and I need Him, because life and grace is found only in Him. I sin every day, and I was filthy and abominable, but not anymore because Christ sacrificed Himself to suffer God's wrath for me. So I can be confident that I am righteous and pleasing as I enter the Most Holy Place to meet and see God in my heart, to be intimate with Him. Just as the psalmist invites the Israelites to depend on Him, I know this grace overflows to all His children. And as God has commanded, our love to Christ is shown through our love to His bride: ourselves and other believers.
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I had wanted to write about my mixed feelings being here in Tucson, as I have shared with closer friends. There are some really terribly selfish, condemning or socially awkward Asians (it's way too obvious if I name that nationality which is close to my heart). There are also God-fearing, Christ-loving friends and strangers who have blessed me in many ways. I'm also very thankful that I can share my troubles with Caleb, who understands and empathizes, because he went through the same things.
I see the answer in God's Word, so preciously pure and sweet...old enough to be revered, yet never too old to touch the crevices of the heart and soul. Father, help me live the life of Christ by Your grace, beyond which is sin, trepidation and foul death.
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