On Dialects, Pronunciation and Orthography

The Lord's Prayer

Authorised King James Version (1611)

Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Young's Literal Translation (1898)

Our Father who art in the heavens! hallowed be Thy name.
Thy reign come: Thy will come to pass, as in heaven also on the earth.
Our appointed bread give us to-day.
And forgive us our debts, as also we forgive our debtors.
And mayest Thou not lead us to temptation, but deliver us from the evil, because Thine is the reign, and the power, and the glory -- to the ages. Amen.

New American Standardised Bible (1995)

Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Bible In Cockney: Well Bits of It, Anyway..., Mike Coles (2001)

Hello, Dad, up there in good ol' heaven, Your name is well great and holy, and we respect you, Guv. We hope we can all 'ave a butcher's [butcher's hook = look] at heaven and be there as soon as possible; and we want to make you happy, Guv, and do what you want 'ere on earth, just like what you do in heaven. Guv, please give us some Uncle Fred [= bread], and enough grub [food] and stuff to keep us going today, and we hope you'll forgive us when we cock things up, just like we're supposed to forgive all them who annoy us and do dodgy [bad] stuff to us. There's a lot of dodgy people around, Guv; please don't let us get tempted to do bad things. Help keep us away from all that nasty, evil stuff, and keep that dodgy Satan away from us, 'cos you're much stronger than 'im. You're the Boss, God, and will be for ever, innit? Cheers, Amen.

Simplifying spelling...

Simplified (Idiolectic) Authorised King James Bible

Auer Father wech artn hehve(r)n, Heloud b Thi neim.
Thi keengdi(r)m kam, Thi wel b danin irth, es idizin hehven.
Geevuz thez dei auer deilee bred.
And forgeevus aure deds, es wee forgeev aure detirs.
And leedus nodeentu temteishn, bat deelevirus from eevl.
For Thinees thi(r) keengdi(r)m, and thi(r) pauer, and thi(r) gloree, ferehvir. Amen.

And..the Cockney version.

Bible In Cockney: Well Bits of It, Anyway..., Mike Coles (2001)

Helou, Dad, ap theren gi(r)d oul' hehven, Yawr neimez weal greidn houlee, and wee respekchyu, Gi(r)f. Wee houp wee kan awlafe bechrz at hehven and b ther asun as pawsebel; and wee wantu meikyu hapee, Gi(r)f, and du wachyu want eeirawn irth, jerz laeek wachyu dueen hehven. Gi(r)f, pleez gevi(r)sam Angki(r)l Fred, and eenav gri(r)b and sti(r)f tu keep as gouweeng tedei, and wee houp yuwi(r)l forgeevas wen wee kawk theengzap, ji(r)z laik weeir si(r)pouztu fi(r)giv all them hu i(r)noee as and du dawdg sti(r)f tu as. Therz a lat uv dawdg peepi(r)l irraund, Gi(r)v; pleez doun leddus get temtid tu du bad theengz. Help keep as i(r)wei from awl that nastee, eevi(r)l sti(r)f, and keep that dawdg Seitn i(r)wei frommus, cawzur mach strawngr thaneem. Yer thi(r) Baws, Gawd, and wil b for evir, eenit? Cheerz, Amen.

Should there be a major revamp to English spelling? Not for me, thanks. Moreover, I can't imagine how the colloquial Singaporean English version would be like!