don't leave too fast

Burst me, I'm full of joy as much as tears
Pride and fears that ever so quickly re-emerge
Lurch around, sin, but I know
God'll complete the good work He started in me
when my Saviour comes again.

Goodbye 2008, don't leave too fast
Last things to savour and be thankful for
More friends, closer fellowship with God and His men
Advent caroling and Christmas singing
Sweating, kisses, squabbles, snow
Mowing school books

Come big 9, what's in store?
More good stuff, I know.
Now I have just one prayer:
weaker, humbler.

So I can always run into the embrace of my Father.

In the Bleak Midwinter

In the bleak midwinter, frost wind made moan,
earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
in the bleak midwinter, long long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold him, nor earth sustain;
heaven and earth shall flee away when he comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
but only his mother, in her maiden bliss,
worshiped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
if I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;

yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

Christina Rosetti, 1872
Gustav Holst, 1906

Youtube choirs

2 clips an audience member recorded and uploaded: The ACJC Combined Choir at the Cathedral of Bratislava, Slovakia, on May 30, 2008. Long overdue, but they give a bare glimpse at the magical experience that day.


Soleram, arr by Fabian Obispo


Hymn to the Creator of Light, John Rutter

Ok, but the UST singers' version of Hymn is clearer.

8 days, every week

So, every week, I've been counting down to the end of the semester and my trip to Philly. I'm 2 days away from my last paper on English phonology and 8 days to Hello, America!

I think some reflection is necessary, although this is probably going to be the 3, 894, 798, 432nd time you're reading another reflection about school.

School this semester was manageable, with minimal or no readings at all for 3 classes. What's more, I'm relatively more free since I only tutor one kid instead of three (a major factor of my burn-out in April). You know...they say, when the going gets easy, the easy gets going.

What I've learnt this semester is really fascinating too: sex and sexuality in Ming theatre, Aurangzeb of Mogul and his rule in India, the Abrahamic/Eastern religion divide, implicit agents in passivised and intransitivised sentences, rules of velarisation, aspiration and others in English, and holding the floor in a conversation.

Fellowship has been refreshing and amazing because it was a weekly time of coming to fellowship excited about learning God's Word, and returning fulfilled and heartily bloated with the mysteries of the Gospel and God's kingdom. What's even happier and worthy to know - most of us share this eagerness and joy together. We've also had Liang as an esteemed guest once. Mr Zhu, if you ever stop BSF, we warmly welcome you! I'm really thankful for a community of Christians like Geri, Ollie, Marcus, Tosh, Drea, Debs(Yap), Sid, Amelia, and of course, Caleb, whom I can share about the Gospel and the Bible passionately with because they are also passionate about it.

Also, my recent occupations are the ACJC Alumni Choir Advent Concert, Happy Camp planning and packing up. So many silly things to buy and do, especially because I'm doing them myself. They can be really mundane, like "Buy tongue scraper. Buy Danzen and Difflam." but I'm excited about my first White Christmas. What better way to spend it with loved ones, snow, and good music for God. I can't wait to buy Benetint, live under the Tucsonian sky and finally escape from the bell-curve system, which is one of the two things I want to protest about my school (I'm happy with the rest of it!).

Ok, so Danzen, Difflam. Also, Leftose, Clarinase, Paracetamol, Chlorpheniramine.
Traveler's check, winter clothes, laundry bag...and Little Nyonya and toothpastefordinner.






Of course, my phonology paper on Wednesday too.

"Yeah ok, I do evyting"

Spice Girl Auditions: Swan Spice

Is the Gospel for believers?

The Gospel is the reason why we don't turn our tables against God after being gratuitously saved by faith and grace. Turning our tables against Him means reversing the terms on how sanctification happens - by determining our walk with Him and our transformation on our own terms, by our own effort. We fall time and again, but guilt has no hold over us; obedience to God is inseparable from love - it's not sterile duty because it's a response to the Gospel -the power of God that proves Him to be loving, just, wise and ever so majestic- because the Gospel applies to Christians every single day.

On sanctification, Jerry Bridges writes,

When our sense of guilt is taken away because our consciences are cleansed by the blood of Christ, we are freed up to love Him with all our ears and souls and minds. In fact, not only are we freed up, we are motivated in a positive sense to love Hm in this wholehearted way. Our love will be spontaneous in an outpouring of gratitude to Him and fervent desire to obey Him.

Jesus said, "He who has been forgiven little loves little" (Luke 7:47). In the context of that statement He essentially said the converse is also true: Those who have been forgiven much love much. Therefore, we can say that the extent to which we realize the total forgiveness and cleansing from those sins, will determine the measure of our love to God.

So if we want to grow in our love for God and in the acceptable obedience that flows out of that love, we must keep coming back to the Cross and the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. That is why it is so important that we keep the gospel before us every day. Because we sin every day, and our consciences condemn us every day (though Christ has removed sin's guilt and reign in our lives), we need the gospel every day.

The Discipline of Grace - God's Role and Our Role in the Pursuit of Holiness (1994; parenthesis mine)

(some) verses that make me cry

"And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
Deut 8:3

“O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”
II Samuel 18:33

"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements — surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"
Job 38:4-7 (through 41 actually)

"How can I give you up, O Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel?
How can I make you like Admah?
How can I treat you like Zeboiim?"
Hos 11:8

"God, be merciful to me, a sinner!"
Luke 18:13

"Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?"
Matt 27:46

"But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God."
I Cor 1:27-29

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Heb 12:11

He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
Rev 21:4