let's get the uniting going

Let me state the obvious and awful truth: the church of Jesus Christ has been split into many different factions who refuse to have fellowship with one another. For a people who claim one Lord, one faith and one baptism, we are not one church but exist in isolation, judgment, suspicion and condemnation. This is a sad and terrible situation that undoubtedly grieves the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Race, class, denomination and doctrine separate the people of God. Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week. There are over thirty thousand recognized Protestant denominations, and many of them reject every other denomination but their own.

Why? Because we have adopted a false narrative that gives us permission to separate from those who are different from us in appearance or status or belief. It goes something like this: "If you do not look like us, act like us, worship like us or think like us, we are not obligated to have fellowship with you."

Anglos worship with Anglos; Hispanics worship with Hispanics. Wealthy people attend church with wealthy people; poor people attend church with poor people. People who believe the Bible is inerrant fellowship only with those believe the same; people who believe homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle fellowship only with those who affirm same-sex relationships...

Do you speak in tongues? Do you sing hymns or praise music? Do you believe women can be pastors? Do you allow instruments in your sanctuary? These are questions we use to find out what people believe and practice, and the answers determine whether we can worship together. Some even question the salvation of those who answer differently. The sad fact is this: our divisions simply cannot be the way Jesus intended it to be. The false narrative... - if we disagree, then we must divide - allows this to happen and keeps it happening...

James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful Community (2010)

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"And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? For when one says, “I am of Paul,” and another, “I am of Apollos,” are you not carnal?"

1 Corinthians 3:1-4

"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility."

Ephesians 2:14

agitative music and workouts

I never minded the coarse language in some of the workout music played at gyms or when my friends work out. I didn't mind working out to them too.

But just a few minutes ago, the coarse language in music that came with my workout video got me  angry at people - my mom and friends who talk to me past 1am, so angry I started judging them and harping on their faults. I couldn't fire up much power for my high-intensity exercise and I blamed them for my poor performance today. I got really agitated.

So agitated I couldn't continue the workout.

And I went to pray.

It's not the music's fault because I entertained those angry thoughts and let them start taking root in me. At the same time, the mental image of a shouty strong (wo)man isn't something that I want to emulate in my mind when I lift those weights or do those high knees. At the most superficial level, it's unattractive. At a less superficial level, I'm just deepening those associations my mind already has between muscle and violence - as if we haven't had enough of that! 

And in my surprising case of getting angry at specific people, it's also going to take quite some time to rectify these spur-of-the-moment accusations I conjured with my imaginative mind. Sure, they may just be thoughts, but these terrible thoughts can show up later in the way I interpret the attitude and behavior of my mom and friends whom I text with very late at night. And all that judging? Oh yes, it'll show up in the way I talk to them and think about them for sure.

So now I just wonder, why is agitative music such a popular method for people in the gym to generate physical strength? Are there other ways? 

One good thing though...my poor performance today is making a chronic under-sleeper like me hate late nights, so yay!

albums I'm checking out

soldier of fortune

Tonight, a busker decided to perform something not in his setlist. He looked straight at me and said he wanted to sing a song for "someone sitting over there".

And the song went -

"Now I feel I'm growing older

And the songs that I've sung

Echo in the distance

Like the sound

Of a windmill going round

Guess I'll always be

A soldier of fortune"

How did he know, that I am a wanderer longing for rest? Maybe the dust in my eyes gave it away.

clarity

Be stable. Find out. Be clear. Leave it if it's not to be.

It's not the end of the world. Far from it - "I have overcome it."

"I have done for you everything, my love!"

"The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still."

To love at all is to be vulnerable

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

This might just be the biggest challenge yet. 

Some things in life

are like refined sugar. They are easy to find, not hard to get, take you on a high and leave you crashing soon after. 

They bring great flavor to your life, but adds nothing to it. It's an empty, predictably monolithic sort of flavor, like the taste of soy ice cream with a foreign layer of sweetness tangentially floating above it. There is no link, no connection. And you end up making do with this unwelcome stranger since you literally asked to have it. 

:::

Some things in life are like honey. They are so wonderfully dainty or quirky that the only thing plain about them is they are different - from the delicate white sage with an elegant floral aftertaste to the strong zest in basswood that turns minty when mixed with mild honey. 

Easy to find and not hard to get, but only if the eye is trained to not be distracted by pomp vacant within. Takes you on an unfamiliar kind of high that doesn't really end. Instead, you sit on a new baseline of delight, a new level of norm for your life.

And the best part is, sometimes they can be found in some people and certain friendships.

The fact that there are so many counterfeits and substandard versions of these things only affirms the overwhelming delight of the latter. 

So the wonder at its daintiness and quirkiness remains, and the best part remains best, that sometimes they can be found in some people and certain friendships.